I am absolutely loving this book by John Eldredge called Epic. My pastor told me to read Wild at Heart which is also by this author. At Half Priced Books they didn't have that one, but they had a couple of other books by Eldredge.
It basically likens the "story" of God's creation to every great Epic story. It is an interesting, creative, and insightful way to explain God's true story. He makes an very compelling arguement for creationism versus evolution. He also almost answers the question of the meaning of life.
I have to say that I adore my God and savior Jesus Christ. However, I will admit that my closeness to Him seems to be a bit of a roller coaster. Sometimes I feel he is right there beside me and other times I long to feel his presence because I have neglected him. He doesn't move, I do. Life just gets in the way, but then that gets me off the hook a little too easily. I did find myself wondering how or even why would God care about little ole me? He has bigger fish to fry and probably many better followers or those in greater need than me. Why me? I almost found myself feeling jealous that God probably loved others more than me. The crazy things we tell ourselves. But then he answers my concern... Epic pg 72. - "The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth answer once and for all the question, "what is God's heart toward me?" At the point of our deepest betrayal, when we had run our farthest from him and gotten so lost we could never find our way home, God came and died to rescue us. You have never been loved like this. He has come to save you in every way a person can be saved. That is God's heart toward you." Whew!!! I love it. I love the way God will answer me when I have called upon him for wisdom, or direction. Sometimes the answers come sooner and some come later.
Life is surely an adventure. Every day is a new page in our chapter of His Story.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
The book of John
In our Bible study, we are currently studying the book of John. I do love this book of the Bible. I like that it is a different gospel from the synoptic gospels of Matthew, Mark or Luke. John is more spiritual in his account of Jesus life. He wants people to understand WHO Jesus truly is.
John wants us to understand the difference in the spiritual and physical world. To him, life and death, light and darkness, are to represent our spiritual status rather than a physical state. Just as Adam and Eve lost their life by eating the forbidden fruit, they didn't physically die, but their spirit died. They were separated from the light into a world of spiritual darkness and loneliness. Guilt, shame, fear, sinfulness all were a result of their alienation from God.
Sometimes I have a hard time reconciling who God is as described in the Old Testament versus who Jesus tells and shows us God is in the New Testament. I guess we are not intended to truly understand this mystery. During our bible study, I mentioned this in class and Jodi, our pastor, asked me how I would explain this to a person that is searching and needs reassuring in their faith. So I thought about it and what I believe is that God has always been in control, yet purposely given us all freewill. You must choose to love or it isn't love at all. If you forced behavior and belief, then you get a bunch of Stepford people that just go through the motions. Also, you can't have good without evil. But that's another subject.
Jesus has been with God in the very beginning. He was not a creation that he sent to earth just for the purpose of salvation for his people. Jesus is his beloved son that was there with him as they created the earth. (John 1: 1-5, "the Word" is Jesus (in Hebrew and Greek) Jesus was with God though all of the Old Testament. The world of that day was very different than today and they had not really had an organized belief. Sacrifices and Prostitution for the sake of worship was commonplace in those days. In order to train God's chosen people, the Jews, to spread his desires for the world, he needed to set some rules in place to change their current way of life. They were strict and hard to follow rules. If you think about it, even though we are broken humans that are unable to live completely sin free, the rules that God handed down are for our own good. He knew that any deviation from these rules would only result in pain for ourselves, our loved ones, and for mankind as a whole. We can justify our own circumstances for every broken rule, but when everyone is doing that, there is sure destruction as we have seen. Also to get this world headed in the direction God wants he probably had to make some major decisions that we can not understand because we can't see from his perspective. The Old Testament is a preparation for Jesus as we can see in the prophetic books in the Old Testament (the last books of the Old Testament). Reading those still amazes me. God does have a plan. For God to send his Son to this cruel world and know that he will have to suffer had to be a sacrifice for God and Jesus. But he did so that Jesus can offer us LIFE not only after we die, but now. The spirit that had died with Adam and Eve, could be reborn with Jesus. This is what John wants us to understand.
Jodi did bring it to our attention that Nicodemus in John 3 is visiting Jesus at night in the protection of darkness to ask questions of Jesus and Jesus, clever as ever, replies that people that do evil love darkness. John 3: 19. Jesus explains that people say they need to see to believe, but he is giving them something to see and they still don't believe.
I also like how he uses the woman at the well to spread his ministry. A woman that was not accepted in polite society. (She was at the well during the heat of the day instead of in the evening with the other women). A sinner by all accounts, he revealed his identity to her and she told her village and many believed because of her account. Wow the first woman evangelist, by Jesus choosing. I love when he says "I am he". "I am he", sounds too normal in English. In Greek and Hebrew it means God. He said it to the captors that took him to be crucified and they fell back. It is the way the God introduced himself to Moses on the mountain. "I Am" (Yahweh). Just a little tidbit that I think loses some clarity in the translation. (Along with plenty of other things in the Bible)
As I have said before, I love my bible study. I always come out of it with clarity about something that I just can't wait to share. This insight is not really mine, but from our Disciple I study guide, Jodi our pastor, my classmates, my study Bible, and sometimes a little leading from the Holy Spirit. It all comes together. My hope is that anyone that reads this wants to learn more or has more to share with me or others.
John wants us to understand the difference in the spiritual and physical world. To him, life and death, light and darkness, are to represent our spiritual status rather than a physical state. Just as Adam and Eve lost their life by eating the forbidden fruit, they didn't physically die, but their spirit died. They were separated from the light into a world of spiritual darkness and loneliness. Guilt, shame, fear, sinfulness all were a result of their alienation from God.
Sometimes I have a hard time reconciling who God is as described in the Old Testament versus who Jesus tells and shows us God is in the New Testament. I guess we are not intended to truly understand this mystery. During our bible study, I mentioned this in class and Jodi, our pastor, asked me how I would explain this to a person that is searching and needs reassuring in their faith. So I thought about it and what I believe is that God has always been in control, yet purposely given us all freewill. You must choose to love or it isn't love at all. If you forced behavior and belief, then you get a bunch of Stepford people that just go through the motions. Also, you can't have good without evil. But that's another subject.
Jesus has been with God in the very beginning. He was not a creation that he sent to earth just for the purpose of salvation for his people. Jesus is his beloved son that was there with him as they created the earth. (John 1: 1-5, "the Word" is Jesus (in Hebrew and Greek) Jesus was with God though all of the Old Testament. The world of that day was very different than today and they had not really had an organized belief. Sacrifices and Prostitution for the sake of worship was commonplace in those days. In order to train God's chosen people, the Jews, to spread his desires for the world, he needed to set some rules in place to change their current way of life. They were strict and hard to follow rules. If you think about it, even though we are broken humans that are unable to live completely sin free, the rules that God handed down are for our own good. He knew that any deviation from these rules would only result in pain for ourselves, our loved ones, and for mankind as a whole. We can justify our own circumstances for every broken rule, but when everyone is doing that, there is sure destruction as we have seen. Also to get this world headed in the direction God wants he probably had to make some major decisions that we can not understand because we can't see from his perspective. The Old Testament is a preparation for Jesus as we can see in the prophetic books in the Old Testament (the last books of the Old Testament). Reading those still amazes me. God does have a plan. For God to send his Son to this cruel world and know that he will have to suffer had to be a sacrifice for God and Jesus. But he did so that Jesus can offer us LIFE not only after we die, but now. The spirit that had died with Adam and Eve, could be reborn with Jesus. This is what John wants us to understand.
Jodi did bring it to our attention that Nicodemus in John 3 is visiting Jesus at night in the protection of darkness to ask questions of Jesus and Jesus, clever as ever, replies that people that do evil love darkness. John 3: 19. Jesus explains that people say they need to see to believe, but he is giving them something to see and they still don't believe.
I also like how he uses the woman at the well to spread his ministry. A woman that was not accepted in polite society. (She was at the well during the heat of the day instead of in the evening with the other women). A sinner by all accounts, he revealed his identity to her and she told her village and many believed because of her account. Wow the first woman evangelist, by Jesus choosing. I love when he says "I am he". "I am he", sounds too normal in English. In Greek and Hebrew it means God. He said it to the captors that took him to be crucified and they fell back. It is the way the God introduced himself to Moses on the mountain. "I Am" (Yahweh). Just a little tidbit that I think loses some clarity in the translation. (Along with plenty of other things in the Bible)
As I have said before, I love my bible study. I always come out of it with clarity about something that I just can't wait to share. This insight is not really mine, but from our Disciple I study guide, Jodi our pastor, my classmates, my study Bible, and sometimes a little leading from the Holy Spirit. It all comes together. My hope is that anyone that reads this wants to learn more or has more to share with me or others.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Sacrifice and the Now Generation
I just loved the message today at church. I hope Pastor Jodi doesn't mind if I paraphrase what I got out of it. She started out telling a story about a man stuck in the desert and trying to find his way out. He knew it had to do with the sun so he started to follow his shadow which led him in circles and in the same place he started. So in order to find his way out, he needed to follow the sun (Son) to find his way out instead of rely on his own shadow.
The message was from Mark 8: 27, where Jesus asks his disciples who they think he is and several say John the Baptist and some say Elijah, but Peter gets it right, by saying the Messiah. He then tells them that the time to reveal this to others is not yet come. He starts to explain to them what is to happen. The Son of Man is to suffer many things and then will be killed and then rise on the third day. Peter rebuked Jesus by saying this can never happen and Jesus tells him "Satan get behind me", you do not know the things of God, but only the things of man.
Mark 8: 34 - Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life[c] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul.
She said that many believe to take up his cross means to bear a burden, but she made me see that to take up his cross and follow me, means we have work to do here. We are a generation of instant gratification. Me included in the worst way. I have no patience. I want everything now. I have always known this fault of mine, but try to control it.
This economy is built on a house of cards, credit, spending, and living above our means which are all sinful according to the Bible. The Bible teaches against living in debt. Why, because God knows it only causes strife a kind of slavery to the debtor. Man is he right. But I'm in it just like the rest of the country. So much that we are currently in a Dave Ramsey mode of living on less. We don't eat out or spend needlessly. God is always with us even in our shortfalls and is pulling for us to do the work we are called to do. But as I was saying we are a generation of now and don't want to wait or work for it first. Well we want to live an eternal life in heaven, but don't really want to do anything to have to get there. We are called to love God with all our heart and love others as ourselves. Within this is a bunch of service opportunities to share God's love with others...endless ways to do God's work.
But an analogy that really clarified it for me was about a musician. I spent the weekend at a Bluegrass Festival with numerous talented musicians. I constantly think I could never do that and I have no talent. But then she pointed out that to be a talented musician you have to work hard, work long and hard to get there. These fellas have been playing their whole lives, hours a day, every day. Nights without their loved ones, a non steady paycheck, hours of practice. They didn't just walk up and pick up an instrument and begin to play beautifully, they worked long and hard, with numerous sacrifices for that. Well, we want salvation, a live eternal in heaven, to live with our precious Jesus for all eternity, but we don't want to sacrifice for it. I know that salvation is not based on works, but as a follower of Christ with his spirit inside of you, you are here with a job to do. We all have a talent to lend to this job. Many different talents to do the work of our savior. We, his followers, are called to take up our cross and follow him.
The message was from Mark 8: 27, where Jesus asks his disciples who they think he is and several say John the Baptist and some say Elijah, but Peter gets it right, by saying the Messiah. He then tells them that the time to reveal this to others is not yet come. He starts to explain to them what is to happen. The Son of Man is to suffer many things and then will be killed and then rise on the third day. Peter rebuked Jesus by saying this can never happen and Jesus tells him "Satan get behind me", you do not know the things of God, but only the things of man.
Mark 8: 34 - Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save his life[c] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul.
She said that many believe to take up his cross means to bear a burden, but she made me see that to take up his cross and follow me, means we have work to do here. We are a generation of instant gratification. Me included in the worst way. I have no patience. I want everything now. I have always known this fault of mine, but try to control it.
This economy is built on a house of cards, credit, spending, and living above our means which are all sinful according to the Bible. The Bible teaches against living in debt. Why, because God knows it only causes strife a kind of slavery to the debtor. Man is he right. But I'm in it just like the rest of the country. So much that we are currently in a Dave Ramsey mode of living on less. We don't eat out or spend needlessly. God is always with us even in our shortfalls and is pulling for us to do the work we are called to do. But as I was saying we are a generation of now and don't want to wait or work for it first. Well we want to live an eternal life in heaven, but don't really want to do anything to have to get there. We are called to love God with all our heart and love others as ourselves. Within this is a bunch of service opportunities to share God's love with others...endless ways to do God's work.
But an analogy that really clarified it for me was about a musician. I spent the weekend at a Bluegrass Festival with numerous talented musicians. I constantly think I could never do that and I have no talent. But then she pointed out that to be a talented musician you have to work hard, work long and hard to get there. These fellas have been playing their whole lives, hours a day, every day. Nights without their loved ones, a non steady paycheck, hours of practice. They didn't just walk up and pick up an instrument and begin to play beautifully, they worked long and hard, with numerous sacrifices for that. Well, we want salvation, a live eternal in heaven, to live with our precious Jesus for all eternity, but we don't want to sacrifice for it. I know that salvation is not based on works, but as a follower of Christ with his spirit inside of you, you are here with a job to do. We all have a talent to lend to this job. Many different talents to do the work of our savior. We, his followers, are called to take up our cross and follow him.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
The Shack
Boy I'm reading a great book, The Shack. Several people recommended it to me and it does not disappoint. I haven't finished it yet. The plot is that a man that had been through seminary although not very vigorous in his faith had a tragic event happen to his 6 year old daughter while camping. He is angry with God and overcome with "The Great Sadness" for 3 years until he receives a note in his mailbox from God asking him to meet him at The Shack (the place where his daughter was abducted 3 years ago.) He can't help himself but to go to see what is there. He spends time talking to God and from there it is amazing. It is fiction and not meant to be taken literally, but it does allow you to imagine the glory that waits ahead and teaches to not try to put God in a box based on our knowledge. He is so far more than we can imagine. It is funny, sad and I can't stop thinking about it. I want to share this book with all my friends.
Hope your enjoying your holidays! Having fun at my Mom's.
Hope your enjoying your holidays! Having fun at my Mom's.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tonights Bible Study - Prophets Isaiah, Elijah, Amos
Tonight's Bible study was a good one filled with spirited discussion. We are studying Amos, Ahab, Elijah, Elisha, and Isaiah. The main questions were what makes someone a prophet? Do we have prophets today and who do we think they are? Why don't they perform miracles anymore and if they do would we still be skeptical? Would we listen to them if they spoke to us? What does God want us to do here? What were the Isrealites doing to make God so angry to send the prophets to warn them.
Our pastor Jodi leads this study and she brings all kinds of insight, language and history to the Bible that really makes things come together to give you a better understanding of it all. It something extra you just can't get reading alone. I know it's helped me a lot. Some of my friends seem impressed by what I have learned, but along with reading the Bible on my own, studies like this help to go a little deeper. The discussion is also a great way to hear what others get and then talk it through. I love it and Jodi does too. She's not afraid of spirited discussion. That's what I love about my church.
I also like leading others to a relationship with Jesus Christ by living a Christ filled life and showing others what he has done for us and maybe they will want what we have. That to me is so much more effective than brow beating someone into believing what you say. Don't just talk the talk, but walk the walk. I don't mean living a perfect life because we all know that is not possible. Even Moses and David sinned and they were very much annointed by God. God has shown all through the Bible how he works through ordinary, even sinful people to do his will. Just look at Paul who persecuted Christians and stood by while Stephen was stoned to death. I think the most important thing is to remember we are sinners and can do nothing without the power of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are called to love God above all other things and to love others.
This brings me back to our study tonight. The two things that prophets are opposed to is paganism (not putting God first in our lives) and injustice (lack of consideration for others and compassion for the weak). This sounds a lot like Jesus' summary of the 10 Commandments. The greatest commandment to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind". Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matthew 22 : 37 - 40 I learned this from our Pastor Jodi so I can't take credit for the insight, but I thought it was cool enough to share.
Do we have prophets today? Yes, we certainly do. Acts 2: 17 - 19 "in the last days, God says. I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughter will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days and they will prophesy. " The last days are from the time Jesus ascended into Heaven until he returns again. I believe there are many prophets alive and active today. I also believe that our Lord is performing miracles everyday. But just like Ahab after Isaiah tested their Baal gods and proved that God was indeed the one true God, he still didn't believe. How could you not believe after that great miracle? But they didn't and I know many of us see miracles and rationalize them away. We need to open our eyes and minds to see them.
The Israelites had grown so far away from God and their convenant with him. They were worshipping Baal and so concerned with maintaining their cushy, comfortable life that they were not concerned with the needy and even worse were mistreating them terribly. When I read God's warning to them through the prophets, I thought well THEY were terrible sinful people and deserved it, but then I started thinking and realized we are just like they were to some extent. We don't worship "Idols" per say, but we do put many things before God. We may not knowingly hurt the needy, but we don't always do what we can. I'm right there with everyone else on this one. I don't do all I can. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide us and give us strength to do what is right in God's eyes. We can all do better.
So what are we supposed to do, we are called to put God first above all things and then love others as ourselves; in other words be prophets for God. Heaven's filled with great people for a reason. We are in training for Heaven. To love during this life so that we can move on to perfection and be ready to love in the next.
Our pastor Jodi leads this study and she brings all kinds of insight, language and history to the Bible that really makes things come together to give you a better understanding of it all. It something extra you just can't get reading alone. I know it's helped me a lot. Some of my friends seem impressed by what I have learned, but along with reading the Bible on my own, studies like this help to go a little deeper. The discussion is also a great way to hear what others get and then talk it through. I love it and Jodi does too. She's not afraid of spirited discussion. That's what I love about my church.
I also like leading others to a relationship with Jesus Christ by living a Christ filled life and showing others what he has done for us and maybe they will want what we have. That to me is so much more effective than brow beating someone into believing what you say. Don't just talk the talk, but walk the walk. I don't mean living a perfect life because we all know that is not possible. Even Moses and David sinned and they were very much annointed by God. God has shown all through the Bible how he works through ordinary, even sinful people to do his will. Just look at Paul who persecuted Christians and stood by while Stephen was stoned to death. I think the most important thing is to remember we are sinners and can do nothing without the power of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are called to love God above all other things and to love others.
This brings me back to our study tonight. The two things that prophets are opposed to is paganism (not putting God first in our lives) and injustice (lack of consideration for others and compassion for the weak). This sounds a lot like Jesus' summary of the 10 Commandments. The greatest commandment to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind". Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matthew 22 : 37 - 40 I learned this from our Pastor Jodi so I can't take credit for the insight, but I thought it was cool enough to share.
Do we have prophets today? Yes, we certainly do. Acts 2: 17 - 19 "in the last days, God says. I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughter will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days and they will prophesy. " The last days are from the time Jesus ascended into Heaven until he returns again. I believe there are many prophets alive and active today. I also believe that our Lord is performing miracles everyday. But just like Ahab after Isaiah tested their Baal gods and proved that God was indeed the one true God, he still didn't believe. How could you not believe after that great miracle? But they didn't and I know many of us see miracles and rationalize them away. We need to open our eyes and minds to see them.
The Israelites had grown so far away from God and their convenant with him. They were worshipping Baal and so concerned with maintaining their cushy, comfortable life that they were not concerned with the needy and even worse were mistreating them terribly. When I read God's warning to them through the prophets, I thought well THEY were terrible sinful people and deserved it, but then I started thinking and realized we are just like they were to some extent. We don't worship "Idols" per say, but we do put many things before God. We may not knowingly hurt the needy, but we don't always do what we can. I'm right there with everyone else on this one. I don't do all I can. We need to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide us and give us strength to do what is right in God's eyes. We can all do better.
So what are we supposed to do, we are called to put God first above all things and then love others as ourselves; in other words be prophets for God. Heaven's filled with great people for a reason. We are in training for Heaven. To love during this life so that we can move on to perfection and be ready to love in the next.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Retreat that Changed My Life
I recently went to a spiritual retreat meant to prepare you to be disciples for Christ. It was a life changing experience to say the least. Before I went, everyone was telling me how wonderful it was and that I would love it. I have to tell you, I was pretty nervous. I didn't know what to expect and I don't like that much. My sponsor, the beautiful angel that she is, had gone to great lengths to arrange for me to get there, she checked on my family while I was gone, she picked me up, and she has been an all around spiritual advisor and friend before during and after the retreat. The big slogan that everyone says before this thing was "don't anticipate".
When we arrived, it was at a dude ranch type of facility. It was clean and fairly new. When our sponsors finally left, I felt like crying...Mommy! don't leave!!!! I don't know these people!!!! Did I mention that even though most people that know me don't realize it, I have a little of a social anxiety disorder or you could say I am very uncomfortable in those types of situations. The weekend went well. It was a lot of listening to talks and interacting with others. We laughed and we cried. We woke up early and went to sleep late. The accomodations were freaking me out a little. I never went to camp as a child because that was for rich kids. LOL But we slept in a bunk house with about 20 bunk beds, 3 showers, 2 toilets, 2 sinks, and 2 electrical outlets. I was with about 20 women in this room and wouldn't you know it, I got beside a snorer. I couldn't sleep and I was slightly uncomfortable with the lack of privacy and downtime. There was very little downtime and no privacy. We weren't allowed to have phones, watches, or any electronic devices. I was kind of ready to get out of there. I kept wondering when the great part would happen.
I can honestly say that every day is better than the last and by the last day, it had some memorable and amazing moments. I had entered this retreat with several things weighing heavily on me. I had prayed to God that he would lead me and do with my life what he wanted and to make his will, mine. God does amazing and miraculous things and he was at work there. Even though we weren't allowed to discuss our profession until the end, I was placed next to a person that happened to specialize in an area that concerned me and she was a blessing to sit with me and answer tons of questions for me. What a blessing she was! Also I had a woman come over to me and say she felt she was supposed to share a parable with me and she did. It was a very profound answer to a question I didn't know I had, but it made sense. Lastly, on my ride home with my lovely sponsor whom I adore, she said she had a dream about me and I was wrestling with God and that I was injured just like Jacob and that I would be forever injured to remind me. Well I would have to say that sometimes God speaks in a whisper, but sometimes he hits you with a brick and that seemed like a pretty big brick to me. When I returned home, I must of seemed different and I know my husband was concerned. But I am so amazed at how the Lord works. I always have vivid dreams (more on that at another time), but my husband never remembers his. But about a week later, he asked me who all I spoke with while I was at the retreat. I asked why and he said he had a dream that kind of freaked him out. A faceless woman came to him and said that he needed to support me and be there for me. He wasn't sure what to make of it. All I can think is that my wonderful and loving God was taking care of me...unworthy me. This is why I think God's miracles are all around us. We just have to look for them.
After it all, I can say that I didn't actually love the retreat, but it did change my life. I guess a little retrospect is what I needed to realize that. I would recommend it to anyone. Yet, I would say the devil was at work when I returned home because about three days later as I was watching the evening news, I recognized one of the pastors that led the retreat. I was shook up. He had been arrested for child pornography and was under investigation for months. I couldn't believe some of the charges. Completely discusting!!!! I didn't actually interact with this pastor much because I asked him a question during the week and I didn't agree with him so I didn't feel we were on the same page. Also, I look back now and I feel that something about him didn't seem right. All I know is that I can't believe I spent a whole weekend in the presence of such a sick person. I know we all sin and I know that clergy is not above sin, but this was different. This was sick stuff. I'm definately not worthy to be clergy and even I can't imagine the things he did. He did plead guilty.
This could have shook my belief of what I had learned, but I realized that it didn't. I couldn't allow that. God is good and he is forever reminding me of that. I wake up everyday with complete and total gratitude for all that I have. I am not worthy of it, but I am thankful he has blessed me. I only hope that he can use me to bless others. That's my prayer anyway.
I'm feel like I'm overflowing with love. Gots ta share it!!! May you see what God has in store for you. Ask Him and He will tell you. Blessings!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/religion/stories/092608dnmetpastor.26ea14a.html
When we arrived, it was at a dude ranch type of facility. It was clean and fairly new. When our sponsors finally left, I felt like crying...Mommy! don't leave!!!! I don't know these people!!!! Did I mention that even though most people that know me don't realize it, I have a little of a social anxiety disorder or you could say I am very uncomfortable in those types of situations. The weekend went well. It was a lot of listening to talks and interacting with others. We laughed and we cried. We woke up early and went to sleep late. The accomodations were freaking me out a little. I never went to camp as a child because that was for rich kids. LOL But we slept in a bunk house with about 20 bunk beds, 3 showers, 2 toilets, 2 sinks, and 2 electrical outlets. I was with about 20 women in this room and wouldn't you know it, I got beside a snorer. I couldn't sleep and I was slightly uncomfortable with the lack of privacy and downtime. There was very little downtime and no privacy. We weren't allowed to have phones, watches, or any electronic devices. I was kind of ready to get out of there. I kept wondering when the great part would happen.
I can honestly say that every day is better than the last and by the last day, it had some memorable and amazing moments. I had entered this retreat with several things weighing heavily on me. I had prayed to God that he would lead me and do with my life what he wanted and to make his will, mine. God does amazing and miraculous things and he was at work there. Even though we weren't allowed to discuss our profession until the end, I was placed next to a person that happened to specialize in an area that concerned me and she was a blessing to sit with me and answer tons of questions for me. What a blessing she was! Also I had a woman come over to me and say she felt she was supposed to share a parable with me and she did. It was a very profound answer to a question I didn't know I had, but it made sense. Lastly, on my ride home with my lovely sponsor whom I adore, she said she had a dream about me and I was wrestling with God and that I was injured just like Jacob and that I would be forever injured to remind me. Well I would have to say that sometimes God speaks in a whisper, but sometimes he hits you with a brick and that seemed like a pretty big brick to me. When I returned home, I must of seemed different and I know my husband was concerned. But I am so amazed at how the Lord works. I always have vivid dreams (more on that at another time), but my husband never remembers his. But about a week later, he asked me who all I spoke with while I was at the retreat. I asked why and he said he had a dream that kind of freaked him out. A faceless woman came to him and said that he needed to support me and be there for me. He wasn't sure what to make of it. All I can think is that my wonderful and loving God was taking care of me...unworthy me. This is why I think God's miracles are all around us. We just have to look for them.
After it all, I can say that I didn't actually love the retreat, but it did change my life. I guess a little retrospect is what I needed to realize that. I would recommend it to anyone. Yet, I would say the devil was at work when I returned home because about three days later as I was watching the evening news, I recognized one of the pastors that led the retreat. I was shook up. He had been arrested for child pornography and was under investigation for months. I couldn't believe some of the charges. Completely discusting!!!! I didn't actually interact with this pastor much because I asked him a question during the week and I didn't agree with him so I didn't feel we were on the same page. Also, I look back now and I feel that something about him didn't seem right. All I know is that I can't believe I spent a whole weekend in the presence of such a sick person. I know we all sin and I know that clergy is not above sin, but this was different. This was sick stuff. I'm definately not worthy to be clergy and even I can't imagine the things he did. He did plead guilty.
This could have shook my belief of what I had learned, but I realized that it didn't. I couldn't allow that. God is good and he is forever reminding me of that. I wake up everyday with complete and total gratitude for all that I have. I am not worthy of it, but I am thankful he has blessed me. I only hope that he can use me to bless others. That's my prayer anyway.
I'm feel like I'm overflowing with love. Gots ta share it!!! May you see what God has in store for you. Ask Him and He will tell you. Blessings!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/religion/stories/092608dnmetpastor.26ea14a.html
Friday, November 14, 2008
God's Purpose in My Life
We are studying Beth Moore's "To Live in Christ" Life and Ministry of Paul at our weekly bible study. I love the way she teaches the bible. She makes you learn where to find things that is for sure. She has you flippin all over the place. Actually, I don't have many talents, but one of them that seems to impress people (I'll take all I can get) is I learned the books of the Bible in Sunday school when I was 8 and I can sing them. Although, it does gets strangle looks in church when we are trying to find a book and I seem to have to sing them. (Come on and admit that we do that too when we alphabitize things. Oh really...so I'm the only one. Oh well I don't do that either - never mind.) Beth Moore also makes you think and apply the lesson to our lives. This week we were asked what do we think God's purpose for our life is? That's a big one. Many wait their whole lives to figure that one out. I think I know, but I'm open to hear God's voice in case I'm wrong. I am truly a disciple in training. All I really know is that I can do nothing good without God and his support. I can do lots of stupid things without his help, but all good things come from him who gives me strength. I have to remind myself daily about that.
On to the question of what is God's purpose in my life. In the last year or so I have seen God do some amazing, supernatural things. I feel it is my purpose to share those with others. I hear people say why doesn't God do miracles like he did in the Old Testament or healings like in the New Testament and I believe it is because we don't look for it and we are not open to it. For those of you that know what I'm talking about, you may be thinking I'm not saying anything new. But I know there are many that don't see it ever. I want them to know he is active and well performing miracles everyday for those that believe and maybe for those that don't. For now that is all, I have to go play hangman with my beautiful daughter. TBC (to be continued)
On to the question of what is God's purpose in my life. In the last year or so I have seen God do some amazing, supernatural things. I feel it is my purpose to share those with others. I hear people say why doesn't God do miracles like he did in the Old Testament or healings like in the New Testament and I believe it is because we don't look for it and we are not open to it. For those of you that know what I'm talking about, you may be thinking I'm not saying anything new. But I know there are many that don't see it ever. I want them to know he is active and well performing miracles everyday for those that believe and maybe for those that don't. For now that is all, I have to go play hangman with my beautiful daughter. TBC (to be continued)
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